I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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