I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
its liver damage thursday
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
