It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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