What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
