He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
