On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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