i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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