I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
