I want to walk on stilts...naked
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
