I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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