Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i out mim tonsoeep
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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