worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
