you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
