Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
This toilet bowl is my home.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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