Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
