I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
