I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize