quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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