you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
