I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
