im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize