At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
