at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
