Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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