some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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