Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
