Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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