I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
