I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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