Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I currently don't understand fingers.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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