this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
