do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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