Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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