she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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