i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
