We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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