I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I love you.
Bad choice
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