Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
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