your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
