so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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