Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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