He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
