He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
