I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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