Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
