I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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