i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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