Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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