the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
