I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
