so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Shame is for Republicans.
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