69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
