Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
