The maid of honor just puked.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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