I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Text me some of your sweat
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
