I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Do vagina's smell?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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