i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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