Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
